Deal or no Deal?

What people see is the end result or almost. I have been walking around feeling like a new woman but you probably already knew that from just looking at me. What people don't know is the hard work it has taken me to get here (I'm not done). On most days, I wake up full of life ready to face the world but on other days, like today, a simple question may lead to a flow of emotions. I was able to get through my day fine but towards the end, I just needed to come home, lock myself in my room and let myself cry. I usually have to wait until my kids are in bed and I'm all alone in my bedroom before I can let it out (if pillows could talk mine would say "stop choking me"!) . I had to tell Ed to keep Paula for a few more hours than usual. He asked if everything was ok and I answered him honestly, no. I told him I was sad and just needed some time. He understood.

After about 2 hours, I got up and continued cleaning my closet. It is then that it hit me.... I'm feeling this way because I'm cleaning out my life!!! I am crossing my fingers that my home sale goes thru and that I am able to move out but boy I was not expecting to be this emotional. I will allow myself to process my emotions as they come up but will NOT allow myself to be consumed by them. This is only the beginning of the end but even if it's hard for me, I know deep in my heart that this is the way it's supposed to be.

When Paula came home, she had something for me... Edgar sent me potted flowers. I don't know how to take it but I guess i won't read too much into it. He knows that part of my sadness is due to him. Whatever the matter, I sent him a text thanking him. He is a good person.

As for me, I will continue to push forward, making way towards my new life! If you would like to be part of it, you have to make an agreement with me... That you will always love me no matter what and allow me to take care of you once in a while. Deal? Deal!!!