4th row

Sitting alone in the 4th row of church... Every Sunday, I wake up and get myself ready for church. I have made it a routine in my week and feel that I need to listen to the pastor's word in order to get through my week. I have taken guests from time to time but mostly I attend solo. As I walk through the doors, I sometimes feel so alone and wish that I wasn't walking in by myself. I know God has a plan of healing my family one member at a time, this is what makes my confidence soar. I look around and see couples and families sitting together and say a little prayer asking God to one day grant me the pleasure of having all my kids sitting there with me, in the 4th row, listening to the word of the lord. Rarely do I see people sitting alone or maybe I just don't notice it.

I like sitting close to the stage because I am nearsighted which makes sense to sit "near" haha get it? So anyway, enough of my lame wanna be jokes and on with the story. As I sit there waiting for the music to start, my "feeling alone" part starts to diminish. I start thinking of the reason I'm there and it eases me. I am not there to show others what a good christian I am. I am there to praise the lord, thank him for my blessings and most of all ask him for forgiveness. I won't lie, I do make my requests especially around those people in my life I love. Soon, people start filling in the seats besides me and even sooner, I am one with God. I love the part of church where they tell us to say good morning to those around us. I know that for many of us, a warm smile goes a long way especially if you are feeling a bit down. I offer my warm smile to those around me and as I shake their hand, I wonder if they feel the same way I do.