Milk and cookies

I wish life was as simple as a glass of milk and cookies. I always seem to be writing about my challenges but man! do I ever have them! or at least in my mind I do. I keep feeling like I am failing at everything! My intellectual,rational mind tells me that it's definately not true but my perfectionist self tells me that I am not doing everything I should be doing. I look at my life in sections and super analyze everything in it. Lately, I have been feeling like a failure, failing at my relationship, failing at my parenting skills and failing at my job. Like I said before, my rational mind tells me I am far from it but yesterday I couldn't make myself believe this. It is during these times of feeling this way that I usually take some time to disconnect from the world but right now I can't. I try to maintain a positive stance but my mind gets blocked sometimes. I often wonder how many other people this happens to because I know I am not the only one. I guess if we look up the definition we can say it's some sort of generalized anxiety. I know enough about myself to not allow myself to stay in this place but the feeling is aweful. Just last night I had to step outside my balcony and catch my breath. I felt that I couldn't breath and if I am completely honest with myself, I know I was really feeling like I could just start running. Where? nowhere. It's just a feeling that I'm sure many can relate to but may choose to not admit. I feel the need to write about these things because I genuinely believe that through my shared realities, someone will benefit from it. Our suffering should never go in vain, it is meant to teach us lessons about ourselves, help us grow and develop and most importantly, it is my personal belief that, we are always meant to use these experiences to help others. You have to remember that I strongly feel that my purpose on this earth is to help others, wether it's thru words, writing or simply with a smile. I will believe this until I take my last breath and firmly conclude that it is my calling from God.

Today, I am able to share my internal struggles as I m feeling very confident that I will once again work through this. People tell me all the time that I am so positive and happy. Well my friends...this happiness comes through with alot of honest hard work from the inside out.

It is my wish that as you read this, you always know that there is everlasting hope for you (and me ♥) and your internal struggles. When they present themselves, there can and there WILL be a solution.

May you enjoy endless days of having yourself some nice milk and cookies!

Love,

Kika