Love me even when I don't deserve it

This year is quickly approaching it's end and with it is the realization that life passes us like a lightning bolt. Towards this time of the year, we start to think about all those things we didn't accomplish, about all the things we have experienced and how we have one more year of life experience under our belt. Hopefully, we have grown wiser, more positive and look fabulous! This year for me, has had a sense of renewal, endings and findings too. I found that I continually renew my faith in God and how important this part of my life has become. No, it's not perfect and I am far from being what he wants me to be but I keep seeking him.

I have experienced the ending of a friendship that I though was enhancing my life but in reality, I was giving more than I thought, especially (I guess) in the vibes area. In the end, I was called names that never fit me (nor chose to believe) but I guess when people don't get what they want, it's the easy way out. It's words that cowards use when they don't have anything bad to say but want to hurt you. Even with this harsh experience, I forgive you friend and hope that you find what is missing in your life.

This year, and after processing all the pain from my divorce, I decided that it was time. I met him early this year but didn't bring him around my kids and family until I was sure. It didn't take too long for my family to meet him as he is a wonderful person. We have our ups/downs but I enjoy being with him. I can never love like the first time but I can care deeply. I don't know where this relationship will go and I frankly don't think about it too much, but wherever it goes it's fine with me. I am living today and today only.

This year, I have also learned that people will hate you just for simply being you. People will hate on you because you see the world with a positive outlook. I don't know and I don't understand either but it is through these experiences that I am able to see God's light, God's lessons and his love. I reinforce forgiveness and try my best not to hold grudges. It doesn't have room in my heart.

There's many more positive situations this year for me than negative or maybe it's the way of looking at them. I go through my little phases but always manage to come up on top and learning something new about myself. I love my life, my kids, my family and my friends. I feel blessed to have so many caring people in my life.

One more thing... this Dec. 5th will be a significant day for me as I turn one more year older. I feel that the best is yet to come! Wish me luck, keep me in your prayers and love me even when I don't deserve it!

Love,

Kika