Lessons Learned

I have learned to live without my sister- I use what she taught me to help guide me in the decisions I make. Somewhere in heaven she is smiling down on me or on some occassions she has given me "the look". Yeah we all know it. I will always miss her in a selfish way but I am at peace with her passing. How could I not...she lived long enough to give us all enough tools to navigate through this world. It would be selfish of me to want her around knowing that the Lord needed her.

I have also learned to give less. What I mean is, that I have learned to be a little more selfish. Selfish with my time, selfish with my friendships and selfish with many other things. I know it's hard for some people to grasp that concept of giving to others since I often see people just think of themselves on many and every level. I guess that's me being a bit judgemental of others. Hey, I never said I was perfect!

This year and for the first time in my life, I have learned to trust in God. A long time coming but it finally happened. Yup, here I was getting ready to end 2010 and things began to happen. As I continued to try to take care of everything as if I was superwoman, I lost control of it all. I call it the downward spiral where it feels like you just want everything to stop but don't know how to stop it. I had to hit bottom in order to be here writing today. So they say that everyone has a story.... My story is filled with many people that God sent my way to knock some sense into me! He even sent me a big tattooed cholo named "Daniel"to talk to me about the lord. Lol! I love it! Dear Lord and my savior, I got your messages and I finally let you in. I'm here to do your work. I'm ready!

I learned that as I started to change my outlook on life and also my look, people sometimes had a hard time with it. It's as if some people want you to always be moping around or something. I say that happiness really does come from within. I also use the example of being in a bubble. No one can burst it if you don't let them. My bubble is super strong with a invisible shell that reflects off negative vibes. I made it that way. Lol! It gets a bit hectic in my bubble sometimes but I love it regardless. When you see me, you will always see a smile on my face because I have a real reason to smile. I am happy,content and satisfied with my life. Oh don't get me wrong, it's far from perfect but I make the best of it!

P.S

As you move forward with this life that doesn't stop for anyone, I hope that you can take some time out of your busy day to reflect on the things in your life that have helped you be where you are today. Don't pretend to be thankful but really look deep down inside and make an honest reflection. Our experiences are not always positive but they help up grow into the people that God intended us to be.